This is me now

Everyone knows I'm probably one of the most explicit people youll ever know.
I hardly have qualms sharing about my life.

My private cricle seems to me, that it only exists in silence, when Im alone in my own room at night.
However, the next day, Ill be sharing what my thoughts were with someone else.

Very private indeed.

Sometimes I do wonder, do I share too much? Do I expose parts of me that I shouldnt?

It results in people knowing me, but is that what I really want? An Immediate effect of people knowing me?

Sometimes, it sucks, cause you tend to give people judgement of yourself even before they can come to ao conclusion on what kind of person you are. Sure its nice to like share and have you make your own judgement for yourself, however, now, the Whole world knows you. Your darkest secrets, your treasured moments and all. Is it really worth it to be sharing your life so fast?

While, its been quite long since Ive submerged myself into deep thoughts and remnense of the past I guess.

Coming to the end of the year, I once again realise how this year has passed so fast.
I regret certain things I've done, and put behind the past.

But is there a new future for me? I want to make it a new future, but I cant do it alone. Im overshadowing my reality the same way I did last year. On September 27th, and the few days that led up to that very day again.

But as much as I am trying to cast the imagery away, I dont quite want to. I rather see myself fighting this battle on. Seeing me surge to the very end. I wouldnt call it quits till I reach the very end of my wits shall I?

Or should I take the safe choice, take the choice that most would choose, the path that would lead no where, besides a blissful friendship.

Pardon that sentence, its not that I dont treasure friendship, I do alot! But there are things that, friends can never share, things that you wouldnt experience with friends.

All these, thats why sometimes I cant wait to be 23. But even then, will it really be my ideal age?
I'm starting to sound like Rosencrantz in Rosencrantz ans Gildernstern are dead.
He's a stupit fellow, who ponders on his thoughts all the time. And he gets emotional about them, never knwoing when he really is making a statement of his own. In many ways, he is like me, falling back to square one. Never solving an equation.

I just hope, I really do hope, that this time round, Patience prevails and I will solve the equation.