The truth be set apart

The irony of feelings.

It seems that I have had alot of time on my hands lately, to do alot of thinking. However, I am too rather stressed out by school work. I know most of my school mates would be puzzled at this comment but well, I guess I am stressed by it because with so many things happening, it seems like I have so little time to complete it all. Indeed there is little time. with school coming to an end in 4 weeks time, and assignments piling up on our desks, I guess I am pushing myself to fire my all at school.

I watched Forest Gump yesterday, and it was good. I mean there isnt much you can say about a film that has won 6 academy awards right? Well, truth is, I was astounded by his simplicity and then being able to overcome so many things in life. I had forgotten what the show was about after so many years and I'm glad I refreshed my memory. "life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you're gonna get". He enjoyed every single thing that he did. He was often busy during the days, with lots of things to do. However, when it came to being a human being, he was truly a human being. He said, "during the days, I would work, and I enjoyed my work. But at night, when I'm all alone at home, theres only one thing I could think off, Jenny"

Its weird though, amazing, how she was his only love. She was the fucking love of his life. Haha

Enough about Forest.

I started reading a book too. Entitled "The Road Less Travelled". Its first line, Life is difficult. WOW! True enough, Life isnt easy.

I went for mass yesterday. Ill remember this message I sent to him while studying at cheers, "Its obvious what her answer would be right?, I mean, God will definitely want me to go for mass!" Indeed he wanted me, and so I studied till Rovi finished class, and we went for mass.

Something struck me during mass, I suddenly realised I lost a bulk of my personality, a bulk of who I was. I took a look at myself, when was the last time I made a bunch of people laugh? When was the last time I was truly enjoying myself? I havent had a blissful day for a long time. I kinda lost who Lucas was. Not in character, but in personality. I want it back! Apart from all these deep entries about feelings, epiphanys, life, love, hope, strength, this is just the side of me that gets out when I'm alone. One part of me grew missing, I let thoughts cloud my mind and I let a lot of other things flood what I was. Well, nobody said it was easy.

You realise something, most of the time, youre not being yourself because of these clouds of thoughts. Youre never truly enjoying yourself. So you let go, you let go of those thoughts that clpoud your head. You let go of every ounce of it to make you gain back who you were. When you let go, you feel sad for awhile, and youre back. You truly are. Youre the happiest man/woman alive. However, you forget, what you let go off. Was it worth it? Was itthe right time, what if there was another road?

I wanted to give up yesterday on the way to church. I told Rovi, you know what, I think I'll give up.

Ok, I know whatever Im saying is pretty ambiguous, but I guess yea, well, if you dont know then you dont la. lol. =))

Anyhow, yes, I wanted to give up whatever was clouding my mind, I wanted to let go, because I missed who I was, I missed the past. For some reason, the words started flooding back, "NO, dont, what?, Dont be stupit, c'mon" Itl be easy to say, well,its ur choice bro. But then, Yea. I sat there and I listened.

Life is difficult, nobody said it was easy.

I can find back myself amidst all these thoughts, I just need to, well, I;m going back to the start. Like I said before, I'm enjoying my life, every ounce of it.

truly these few days have been vry weird. As each day comes, I experience a hell lot of emotion. As in, every single day, I find myself feeling, happy, sad, cheerful, anguished.. Everything you can think off, but I'm enjoying it, I mean, how often do you get to feel like that? But you know, with a simplistic mind, theres only one thing you should think about, "life".

of course with that comes many subheadings and alot you can think off, but thats life.

You know, you just follow the flow of things, if its meant to be, its meant to be. For some reason, I believe there is a reason why I am on this road right now. Indeed, the road less travelled. trust me, its very different from what I have experienced. As you all know, or rather my close friends would know. Its very different. As in, not with the emotions I feel, but rather the road I'm on. Maybe truly, it is really, The Road less Travelled. I chose to get my feet dirty on it, and I am on it.

=))