Guilt?
A sense of hysteria continues to surge through my body as the clock ticks closer to my departure time.
I never liked the thought of flying, I never like the thought of plane crashes. There's always a level of uncertainty whenever I travel.
However, this sense in me now; I'm not sure whether it's the pre-flight jitters, or something else.
I depart today with a mindset which I'm not sure off.
I really am stuck in a missing rut as I try to find some comfort in my decisions.
Somehow, not really knowing whether or not it is the right decision to fly off now. Am I leaving too many things unattended to before I leave this country?
What happened to my Wednesday fun? Or my post exam enjoyment? I Guess after a series of events, it probably shattered and left me in a midst of dark gloomy clouds wondering.
I'm not saying I regret making my decision, I'm just saying -
As my heart tells me what to do, I do follow it. However, I find myself being enstranged and realising that my heart might probably be the meanest yet.
Am I filled with guilt because of what my heart tells me to do? Or is what I'm feeling merely pre flight jitters?
I never liked the thought of flying, I never like the thought of plane crashes. There's always a level of uncertainty whenever I travel.
However, this sense in me now; I'm not sure whether it's the pre-flight jitters, or something else.
I depart today with a mindset which I'm not sure off.
I really am stuck in a missing rut as I try to find some comfort in my decisions.
Somehow, not really knowing whether or not it is the right decision to fly off now. Am I leaving too many things unattended to before I leave this country?
What happened to my Wednesday fun? Or my post exam enjoyment? I Guess after a series of events, it probably shattered and left me in a midst of dark gloomy clouds wondering.
I'm not saying I regret making my decision, I'm just saying -
As my heart tells me what to do, I do follow it. However, I find myself being enstranged and realising that my heart might probably be the meanest yet.
Am I filled with guilt because of what my heart tells me to do? Or is what I'm feeling merely pre flight jitters?
posted by Lucas | 7:57 pm
1 Comments:
of course, some decisions you make might not be right. Im glad that you have about 3 weeks to sort things out, and im sure you WILL take that time to make sure things are okay. and if you felt that things are wrong, come back to correct it. Otherwise, when you come back, pretend you are starting your life afresh. whatever it is, i will always have your back (:
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